I Didn't Realize that NFL stood for No Flaming Orange Cleats League

NFL Roger Goodell deputized the Lions secondary to ensnare Bennett to make sure he and his orange cleats did not escape justice.

It came through the wire this week that DJ Moore would be fined $15,000 for his retaliation against Matthew Stafford, during which Moore was ejected from the game. This was only 33% more than Earl Bennett was fined for the game, whose unconscionable crime was wearing sweet non-NFL regulation kicks for the second game in a row. One could imagine that if Bennett were to wear the shoes a third time, the fine would be equivalent to what Ndamukong Suh would receive if he snaps Cam Newton's neck this Sunday in the manner of Steven Segal in those Under Siege movies.

Some other things fifteen thousand bucks can get you after the jump:

Don't Look Gift Bears in the Mouth

After the 2008 season, the Bears traded away Kyle Orton and a wheelbarrow full of hot steaming draft pics to acquire Jay Cutler, making it the largest acquisition for the Bears at the time since Staley the Bear was drafted in the first round in 2003. Since then the Bears have had success, but has Jay Cutler?

Steinbeck's "The Pearl" Was About Kino's Fantasy Team

Jay Cutler had a good game the last time the Bears and Lions met. He is going to have to repeat that performance if Chicago wants to beat the Lions this week. Given the Bears' compliment of receivers, this could be a tall order. Roy Williams this season has been playing like a dog in a Bears jersey chasing a frisbee and Devin Hester has been unreliable as well. Additionally, Johnny Knox is believed to have died in the rancor pit below Mike Martz's house so that just leaves one guy.