Packer Predictions: Weeks 15-17

How to make these last three contests as exciting and compelling as possible? Well, I have a hunch. I think the season's going to play out in a way that will assure shockingly high Nielson ratings, ecstasy amongst ESPN talking heads, and a death blow to all Tebow talk.  Here we go:

Week 15: A call is placed to a rural Mississippi area code Saturday evening. A 40-something man looking haggard, distressed, and dissatisfied slowly moves toward his phone. It's an old Sports Illustrated football phone. Not cordless, but it's always done the job. He grabs the receiver and in a earthy drawl asks: "Who the hell is it?" A few seconds of silence. "Brett, this is Scott Pioli, the general manager of the Kansas City Chiefs." A few more seconds go by. "I've been waiting for your call," Brett responds. "I'll be at Arrowhead tomorrow morning."

While Kyle Orton sulks on the sidelines, Brett Favre somehow breathes some life into a horrible offense. He doesn't look young, but he's hanging in there, converting some key third downs and taking advantage of two straight possessions in which the Packers are forced to punt. With two minutes to go in the fourth quarter, the Chiefs get the ball and find themselves down only six points. It's clear to everyone watching that this was somehow destined to happen. Brett's last hurrah. The offense steadily moves down the field, and find themselves on the Packer 40 yard line. 35 seconds to go and one timeout remaining. Brett lines up under center, surveys the defense. Looks like cover 2. A hard count. Favre takes the snap, drops back three steps, goes through his first read, second read, then sees something out of the corner of his eye. Stevie Breaston - Brett pump fakes once, then launches a bullet. One of the fastet balls you've seen. Into triple coverage. Tramon Williams returns it for a touchdown. Final Score: Packers 37, Chiefs 24.

No Soup For You, Minnesota: Donovan McNabb to be Released by Vikings

ESPN's Adam Scheftler is reporting that Donovan McNabb's reign in Minnesota is soon to be over, with the Vikings planning to release the veteran quarterback by the end of the day.

McNabb started in five games for the Vikings this year where his biggest impact to the team was promoting Vikings punter Chris Kluwe's band "Tripping Icarus" during a post-game press conference.

Happy Trails McNabb. May many songs of glory be sung about your Vikings tenure. And may they all be sung by the band "Tripping Icarus."

JTOSL Podcast Episode 3: Turkey Talk

Our GI tracts still clogged with gravy, we analyze why the Lions weren't able to give the Packers as much trouble as they should have, why the Bears lost to a team that drafts kickers in the first round, and why the Vikings stink.  Looking ahead to the coming games, Tristan doesn't have that feeling, Josh is pessimistic, and Alex thinks Kyle Orton is a "golden god."

JTOSL 112911 by Tristan Dreisbach on Mixcloud

Fear the Bears? Or Fear the Beard?

Kyle Orton is currently listed third on the Kansas City Chief's QB depth chart. This will afford drunken Bears fans the opportunity of throwing old number eighteen replica jerseys at him as soon as the first Hanie incompletion hits the Kentucky bluegrass of Soldier Field. Hanie's uneven quarterback performance has many Chicago faithful looking wistfully back at a time where the man behind center was more consistently a winner and more consistently sporting a beard on his neck.

Lay Off My Boy

"I didn't do it on porpoise!"

I've drafted several posts about the Ndamukong Suh situation--its something that clearly needs to be addressed. I've thought about several different angles. I'm irritated, as I have expressed already in the short life of this blog, that the media is spending more time talking about it than about actual football. I'm irritated that people are overreacting. I'm irritated that he made a bonehead play and really hurt our team in that game and potentially in future games if he is unable to play due to a suspension. There's really not that much else to say. I am compelled to post however, because there is one thing that nobody is saying. There is one thing I can't get past, that I would like people to remember when forming their opinions of Ndamukong Suh, a player whose personality I've never liked, but whose work ethic and professionalism off the field have never left me concerned about him as a member of the team for which I root.


Ndamukong Suh is just 24 years old. He is in his second year as a professional. How did you act in the second year of your career? You may not have kicked anybody, but you certainly made some mistakes. Suh cannot get much better physically. Most NFL players can't. The reason players get better for the first few years of their careers is because they get smarter. They gain experience. They learn. Give the kid a break. He's got a long career ahead of him.

How to Beat The Packers: Many Bothans Died To Bring you this Information

After watching the Packers dismantle the Lions on Thursday, I started to believe that they cannot be beaten. But I spent three days studying the all-22 tape, and I have figured it out. There is a small thermal exhaust port, only two meters wide, protected by a 50 kilometer trench. Turbolaser turrets protect most of the surface with a deadly hail of fire, but the far end of the trench is thinly defended. A linebacker maneuvering into the trench at this point might have a chance of surviving the run and bombing the exhaust port.

Like shootin' womp rats back home.

I Didn't Realize that NFL stood for No Flaming Orange Cleats League

NFL Roger Goodell deputized the Lions secondary to ensnare Bennett to make sure he and his orange cleats did not escape justice.

It came through the wire this week that DJ Moore would be fined $15,000 for his retaliation against Matthew Stafford, during which Moore was ejected from the game. This was only 33% more than Earl Bennett was fined for the game, whose unconscionable crime was wearing sweet non-NFL regulation kicks for the second game in a row. One could imagine that if Bennett were to wear the shoes a third time, the fine would be equivalent to what Ndamukong Suh would receive if he snaps Cam Newton's neck this Sunday in the manner of Steven Segal in those Under Siege movies.

Some other things fifteen thousand bucks can get you after the jump: