Steinbeck's "The Pearl" Was About Kino's Fantasy Team

Jay Cutler had a good game the last time the Bears and Lions met. He is going to have to repeat that performance if Chicago wants to beat the Lions this week. Given the Bears' compliment of receivers, this could be a tall order. Roy Williams this season has been playing like a dog in a Bears jersey chasing a frisbee and Devin Hester has been unreliable as well. Additionally, Johnny Knox is believed to have died in the rancor pit below Mike Martz's house so that just leaves one guy.

Earl Bennett rebounded nicely last week against the Eagles from having his ribs knocked out of his back by a New Orleans helmet on week two, collecting five catches for almost 100 yards and a touchdown. He had a similar performance the last time he was in the lineup against the Lions (sans touchdown) and Cutler and Bennett have had chemistry together (perhaps literally, as they were both teammates in Vanderbilt, I would have to look at their class transcripts to verify this claim), so a repeat performance is possible. I hope for him to be one of the unexpected difference-makers at Soldier Field this Sunday.

In related news, Bears fans have unfortunately started to coin him Earl "The Pearl" Bennett. Look, just because a word rhymes with a person's name doesn't necessarily mean it makes for a good moniker. I mean, Alexander "So Gay" Gray wouldn't work as a nickname for me, right guys? Right? RIGHT? I will take your awkward silence as agreement.

Earl "The Pearl" just sounds weird. I don't want the best receiver on my favorite team named after a shiny object only found in the armoires of grandmothers. Here are some alternate, and more appropriate in this writer's opinion, suggestions for some nicknames for #80:

1. Earl "The Serviceable One" Bennett
2. Earl "Vander-felt-up-your-mom" Bennett (This one might be more appropriate for Jay Cutler)
3. Earl "The Pleasant-Handed" Bennett
4. Earl "Bear Necessity" Bennett
5. Earl "Earl Bennett" Bennett (EARL BENNETT DON'T NEED NO FUCKIN NICKNAMES WHILE HE BE DANCING IN THE TD ZONE BEAR DOWN MOTHERFUCKERS!)

Have any suggestions? Maybe something to do with his fashion choices? Leave 'em in the comments.